An Introvert's Studio Diary: When the Rhythm of Life Sets the Tempo | Atelierovo Art

"The algorithm of social media somehow means nothing to me. What means a great deal to me - is you. Real people behind the screens.

I kept my writing to myself in these weeks of quiet - I really needed it.

And I knew you would understand and wait.

Because once again - the only thing that matters are people like you - flesh and blood, who can feel and know that even we are not machines and we need to rest.

Today I write rested, boldly - about beauty, perfection and…About the willingness to see reality exactly as it is."

Ivi

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Painting, writing, making videos, making music - creating anything that brings us personal deep meaning and brings healing - where we completely strip our soul bare and describe what we feel and what we're going through - often without words, through colour and raw brushstrokes - demands great courage.

I think the ability to create from the heart - drawing on the strength a person carries within - comes in my case from my willingness to get rid of the "sweet - perfect and pretty" - in favour of what is real.

In favour of what is a little broken, destroyed and sometimes perhaps too energetic, wild, strong and sometimes because of that also... hard to process.

Oh and: yes, it is necessary to breathe at those moments.

Deeply.

Maybe that's also one of the reasons why in my work, without any deliberate intention, the element of wind - air - and therefore breath - always appears.

It teaches me to return to myself and to inner freedom.

I'm beginning to see the greatest beauty in what is truly real in life: in chaos, in mess - and in all of that I look for my centre, which is always there waiting for me, for when I finally begin to see truly and honestly.

I hold dialogues with my own darkness and light.

I am at peace, in my own centre.

In my heart.

I know everything is alright.

Today I understand that I need dynamism, freedom, joy in my work and my life!

To feel it fully, deep in my bones and sometimes not know at all what I'm actually doing.

To let myself be guided - by something higher, that somehow guides my hand - and I have nothing to do with it really..

I simply stand and hold "it", I try to completely release into it and capture as much as possible of what comes through.

I reach a kind of true rawness of life and that gives me an enormous amount of life energy. And above all, it brings me complete freedom to express what I feel to the very marrow of my bones.

Like: How I am now.

How things are.

Not how they "should be."

And yes, in all of this there is enormous wildness - and at the same time stillness.

Because the wild primal essence is finally seen, loved and: honoured.

These thoughts have been wandering through my mind for some time now in this period full of change.

The fact that I'm letting go of control and tuning into what wants to emerge through me means I'm beginning to trust my own vision more.

It's usually the case that when someone begins to create, they faithfully follow "someone" - whether that's a school, a favourite artist or a mentor.. (Yes, it was like that for me too.)

After these x years of intensive painting I'm gaining the ability to see things differently than before and I'm allowing myself to set free my wildness, directness and playfulness - which is in some way my own visual language. And that's exactly where a new chapter begins.

And a new wave of enormous joy!

From creating alone :).

A little boldness, a lot of determination, a touch of beneficial naivety and a great deal of hard work and courage. And that courage comes with a kind of certainty that you can handle it - and that you are prepared to fail in order to move forward.

And the only thing you are not willing to do in this case - is wait for someone to come and do it for you :).

So...

I'm learning not to have things polished simply "so that they are polished, predictable and obedient."

I love having things authentic.

Truthful.

Wild.

That is the healing power of art.

And maybe that's why "perfection" is a concept that very often represents boredom to me.

And it comes to me that this is also one of the reasons why in this new collection of paintings I'm working on right now, I'm exploring the theme of beauty.

That kind of... slightly broken, flawed beauty. I'm working with an element of a certain wear - destruction - but at the same time an inner glow, light - a joy that comes from inner understanding.

I have real joy from this - because dismantling the "beautiful": the perfect, the flawless, the over-sweetened: and consciously allowing myself perfect "imperfection" was mentally quite a - hmm - how to put it: well, quite an ordeal.

So wish me luck on this path - it's quite a rough adventure sometimes.

But I already know it's on the right track and it will turn out well.

I simply know it.

And that's exactly why right now I'm getting up from the laptop and going to continue creating.

Because:

It has its own meaning.

And it's deep as... erm - "f*ck" :).

With much love and hugs,

~ Ivi

~ Atelierovo Art

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