An Introvert's Studio Diary | On the Realm Where TARO Was Born | Atelierovo Art
- Ivi Mrak
- May 22
- 3 min read
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"Precision and wisdom are born through mistakes. A million mistakes. It takes persistence and the courage to face your own shadows."
Ivi
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I paint because not painting — not creating — is impossible for me.
Sometimes I despair over it, because things don't come out quite the way I see them in my head. But I'm learning to have patience and compassion with myself. I know that every good, quality thing takes longer to come into being. Or it can be the complete opposite — spontaneous, in a given moment, when I step back and let go entirely.
Unplanned. Simply — I surrender to the process at a certain point.
I fly.
I begin to see differently, as if things suddenly clear. A stillness settles in the soul. Harmony.
That waiting for "perfection" and a million mistakes have their own charm — even if the sulking five-year-old inside me, who flares up because it isn't going "exactly the way I want", can't see it in that moment. In moments like those I can't see past the tip of my own nose. What helps is distance, time, rest, nature. Oh yes, and the cold water of the small lake here - (locally called a "tajch") and walking barefoot in the forest. At least where it's possible. That helps me most in this period. Time without people, words and self-criticism that buries me under the black earth.
It's precisely in this period that the image of a white bison comes to me.
He wants to be called TARO.
Hmm. Ok. I listen.
He radiates respect. Reverence. For what transcends us.
Only those who are invited may enter his realm — and the invitation comes only to those whose intention is pure, steady and true. His strength and the nourishment he brings is deeply regenerative. He leads. Not through logic or strategy. He doesn't lead because others revere him. He allows himself to be led by his own inner wisdom — which also transcends him. He knows, because he listens carefully, feels, and acts accordingly.
He leads because he is one of those who don't need words to be heard.
He is a stable point where others lose their footing, and he sees paths where none are marked. He is guided by the deep inner wisdom of ages and by wild knowing. He comes from a consciousness that pre-dates humanity.
In my head I hear:
"Stability. Endure. I stand with both feet firmly on the ground. Especially when everything is trembling at its foundations. The ideas about a world that was and "should have been" are collapsing like a house of paper cards. They needed to be replaced — long ago — by ones that come from understanding what is here, right now. What we are ready for, even when it so often doesn't feel that way.
And me?
"I am learning to walk in peace. I know where I am, and I take in everything happening around me. A new perspective is being born from ancient wisdom, inner strength and clear vision."
The outlines of things that are present, yet not yet tangible, are becoming clearer. I see them. I feel them in my bones. The inner stillness I feel needs no fanfare, no celebration. It comes from a deep understanding of how the sequence of events works. The right timing has always been there. The only thing I need to do — in my case — is to switch off the immediate rationalisation of things. To notice the inner critic, the judgements, the ever-present fear.
"Trust the deep intuition" — I hear.
Images, feelings, sensations. They bring strength and support not only to ourselves, but to others too.
In the storm, I hold my ground. I feel the Earth. Inhale. Mist. Exhale. I am safe. This is only a moment. Transformation. I create.
I bring nourishment — for myself as much as for others. The things that matter, I recognise by their scent, their taste, their intensity.
The north wind blows against my face, and I know I am standing in the right place. In the right time.
Because that is what I chose.
~ Ivi
~ Atelierovo Art
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